HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE ME?

by Shannan Roussel
Have You Ever Felt Like Me was first posted on GreatFamilies.net on May 11, 2020.

Binge watching TV has seemingly become the accepted past time during the COVID-19 Stay at Home order. I admit that I have watched more movies and sitcoms in the past few weeks than I have in years. One of those movies is Ant Man 2. 

You might remember a scene in the movie that resonates with me right now. Ant Man is shrunk small enough that he is able to be transported to a quantum realm. His goal? To save the Wasp (aka Hope’s mom) who is trapped in that dimension. The mom has no idea how long she has been there or how long it will be until she is rescued. She has been “floating” with no real sense of time and no sense of purpose. 

I feel like Hope’s mom right now. My normal has been completely been turned upside down and the hours go by slowly but the weeks go by fast. I often feel like I am floating, just waiting for this to end. Have you ever felt me?

I have heard it said that in times of extreme pressure our true selves are revealed. Some men and women show intense bravery and some show their hearts are selfish. My husband is bold and strong of character typically and so a crisis only brings out more of the warrior in him. 

I admire that but unfortunately I am the total opposite. When my sense of security is disrupted I quickly go to feelings of anxiety and hopelessness. My fear of the unknown and inability to control my situation make me feel stuck – like I am floating between what my life was and what I am supposed to be doing or feeling now. Have you ever felt like me?

I want to be strong and bold – but that takes too much energy, and the anxiety I wrap around me like a blanket seems to be an easier response. I wrestle constantly with trying to enjoy the moment I am in and empathizing with those hurting all around me, but a gripping fear of the unknown persists.

I am not proud of my anxiety. It feels contrary to everything I claim to believe. I am a Jesus girl through and through. I believe that the moment I acknowledged I was in need of a power greater than myself that Jesus committed to not only assure me a home in Heaven but to also be my Way Maker in my everyday life. I stake my eternity on it. And yet so often I still default to floating. Have you ever felt like me?

My only hope is Jesus. He loves me regardless of my emotions. He knew I would wrestle with feelings of insecurity and fear. Jesus loves me when I fail as much as the times I crush it. He does not see me as a check list of good or bad but as a child of His. 

When l feel insufficient I need to remind myself that God uses my weakness to demonstrate His power and that I may never know what my purpose was during this season. He is ultimately enough for what I need because many years ago I gave my life to Him. Have you ever felt like me?

I may feel like I am floating right now, but there will come a time when this season will end. I want to be a better, stronger person when all of this is over. And not in spite of my weaknesses but because of them – because of what God did with my anxiety, fear, and even the floating. I want to remember the good times that have evolved over the past weeks and never forget how God got me through the struggles. Have you ever felt like me? 

We all have our struggles and our insecurities. Here are some verses to encourage you as we navigate through this season together:

Romans 8:35
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
 
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation.The Lord be with you all.
 
Deuteronomy 31:8 
The LORD is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged."

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Shannan Roussel is a wife and the mother of three adult children. Shannan currently assists Don Schmidt on the Family Ministry team at Calvary Baptist Church but has worked in various ministries over the past 22 years. Shannan’s passion is connecting with people to encourage them with the Hope that comes only from Christ.